A Breath of Winter
by abandonedhymn
Summary: The marriage to Francis is a binding pact, yet Madeleine dreams of escape. Alfred comes bursting in, literally and figuratively. Their attraction is not forbidden, but she has always been alone. Meanwhile, Alfred attempts to unravel the silent secrets of the South, leftover from the bloody civil war. Secrets are sometimes best left hidden. Drabble-series. (America/fem!Canada)
1. Chapter 1: Cleanse

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the non-sense that is Hetalia. (Lucky for you!)

* * *

 **Cleanse.**

 _a melody of weeping._

In the morning, Madeleine wakes and slips out of bed before him.

The servants tend to her and heat up the bath. They are silent, already knowing what their mistress desires. She sinks in the warm water, hoping to cleanse the stains left from last night while the perpetrator snores.

The water forms a curtain for tears that cannot—must not—be shed.

This is her daily ritual to revive herself. Each morning, the slow and steady rhythm of her heart in the misty bathing chamber keeps her calm.

As long as her heart beats, Madeleine knows she is alive.

* * *

 **A/N.** It's Canada Day, everyone!

Anyway, drabble-series started. Everything will be 100 words. Updated daily.

Posted on tumblr first under ForgottenBallad.


	2. Chapter 2: Faithless

**Faithless.**

 _swear the fealty you owe._

* * *

Her husband is not terrible. Francis knows the way of women (and men): how to keep them entertained, how to love them, how to keep them docile. He overwhelms her with fineries, bestows smiles after smiles, and has done nothing to displease.

But their marriage is a farce, and the people reads it as a tragedy waiting to unfold.

A necklace of lovers adorns the King's neck. He is unashamed, even in court while she watches. During the nights, Madeleine wait for her husband in vain.

Rumours—without fail—reach her ears of Francis's new toy the very next day.

* * *

 **A/N.** Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	3. Chapter 3: Fool

**Fool.**

 _beautiful things tell beautiful lies._

* * *

How does one keep a husband bound?

The first time, she was dismayed. No one had prepared her for the intricacies of keeping a lover faithful. After the fifth incidence, she no longer cares. However majestic Francis acts, his heart is fickle.

She has grown accustomed.

After the bath, her attendants dress her. The layers upon layers of the silk gown suffocates and her hair aches of being regularly coiffured.

Nevertheless, the crown is placed upon her head.

"Beautiful," they coo, "magnificent, Your Grace." Madeleine knows it's an attempt to gain her favour.

(The games of the palace are dangerous.)

* * *

 **A/N.** Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	4. Chapter 4: Drain

**Drain.**

 _fear touches softly, but deadly all the same._

* * *

By this time, Francis will be awake and ready, all while Feliciano hovers and frets over him. They meet at the entrance.

Even with the restrictive corset, she curtsies.

"Good morning, my dear," said Francis. He presses a kiss upon her hand and smiles. "You look lovely."

"My husband is too kind," she demurs.

"Come now, Francis will do," he says, but not unkindly. "It has been over a month."

"Of course…" The word are stuck in her throat, but she forces them out. "Francis."

With her arm looped around his, the King nods, satisfied.

They enter to hold court.

* * *

 **A/N.** Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	5. Chapter 5: Unexpected

**Unexpected.**

 _will you steal me away?_

* * *

She sits beside Francis, stony faced.

The court has fallen silent at their arrival. While Francis deals with the daily hearings, Feliciano stands beside her. He chatters of new gossips while she sits, a useless centrepiece.

Feli's cheerful voice is comforting, but it seems time passes slowly when one has nothing to do.

Just as Francis dismissed the last case of the day, an adviser hurries up whispers something into Francis' ears, and the King frowns.

Madeleine caught snippets of someone named "Alfred".

The courtier solemnly bows and retreats, leaving Francis with an unhappy expression.

The palace doors are opened.

* * *

 **A/N.** Feliciano's backstory is a sad one. (But you probably won't even know it since I won't expand. Maybe.)

Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	6. Chapter 6: Drumming

**Drumming.**

 _my heart will burst._

* * *

The door creaks as it reveals an unknown knight.

Francis calls out, "Who is the one that wishes to meet us? Introduce yourself."

The newcomer with his shimmering armour comes forward and kneels.

Madeleine's heart stutters. Their faces are far too similar. Judging by the court's twitters, rumours fly already. No doubt by dawn, she will have gained a brother, she muses.

"'Tis I, Your Grace. Alfred F. Jones," he says. The graceful-sounding words are harsh on his tongue.

"It has been many years since we have last met, Alfred." Francis's smooth voice resonates.

So they already were acquaintances.

Interesting.

* * *

 **A/N.** Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	7. Chapter 7: Secret

**Secret.**

 _gazes meant for two._

* * *

"What purpose do you have in the South, pray tell?" the King asks. "Your King must have an urgent matter to discuss."

The knight must be from the North, she realizes.

No wonder he speaks with such an unfamiliar dialect, stumbling over the Latin-based, melodious words the South worship.

After all, the foreign North had their own strange guttural words and their own strange customs.

"I've come with a message from the Northern Kingdom, Your Grace. One that King Arthur has ordered me to give…" The knight pauses while his eyes dart around the room to meet suspicious stares. _"Personally_."

* * *

 **A/N.** Alfred's too solemn in this. I don't even know if England is going to be a big part of this, but let's see. Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	8. Chapter 8: Exile

**Exile.**

 _your hand holds my soul._

* * *

Francis's expression did not change. "Very well. Dismissed." The short, flippant command had its desired effect. What few people left bow and shuffle out.

The court burst into individual conversations as they leave, with many straining catch a glimpse of the knight. Their gossips revolve around the stranger with an unhealthy ardour.

The King grasps her hand. "You may leave as well, my dear." She expected it; a Queen she may be, ruler she is not.

The creak of the door closing echoes as she steps out with Feli.

Madeleine prays fervently that the monotony of court may be shattered.

* * *

 **A/N.** Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	9. Chapter 9: Clarity

**Clarity.**

 _your eyes pierce through the lies._

* * *

"Iggy was always too paranoid," Alfred complains after telling Francis the message. "Had to send me instead."

Francis grunts in reply. Alfred comes with troubling news. "And how is your master doing?"

"As well as a King should, I guess." Alfred peers around the room and whistles. "Nice place you've got here, Francy-Pants."

" _Merci_ ," he says, frowning at the crude nickname. "Your task is complete, so why not leave?"

"Eager to rid of me?" Alfred pouts. "But no, not yet. King Iggy wants me to stay here and observe, because he needs information on you."

"You're nothing if not honest."

* * *

 **A/N.** Posted on July 1st, 2016.


	10. Chapter 10: Verity

**Verity.**

 _I am not to blame for self-inflicted wounds._

* * *

"So, how's the missus?" Alfred punches Francis's shoulder teasingly, not caring that he just assaulted the King. "A pretty penny you've got there—especially if she looks so much like yours truly."

"I saw to it that she shall wants for nothing."

"A bit quiet though, isn't she?" Alfred thought she was too lacklustre, too tired, for a newly crowned Queen.

"Madeleine is adjusting." The bitter tone is not unnoticed. "It has only been a month since she has arrived."

Alfred's blue eyes sharpen. "Trouble in heaven?"

Francis chose the plainspoken route over subtle words. "The truth? She hates me."

* * *

 **A/N.** Posted on July 2nd, 2016.


	11. Chapter 11: Dilemma

**Dilemma.**

 _shall I stay my blade_ _?_

* * *

"Damn. Hate's a pretty harsh word." Alfred winces. "Aren't you the _love_ expert?"

"She knows about the others." A guilty face emerges. "Love she has none, yet she stays faithful."

"No wonder she hates you." Alfred scowls. "You're the one cheating. The lady doesn't deserve that."

The King sighs. "I would not mind if she takes lovers."

"But maybe—unlike you—she actually has morals?"

The accusation makes Francis angrier. "I care for her, but my loyalty I cannot give," he mourns. "No affection is better than fake affection."

Alfred hums noncommittally. "Yet a lack of affection freezes the heart."

* * *

 **A/N.** Dammit, I hate writing Francis. -clenches and breathes through teeth- He should be happier (or at least more perverted). And Alfred should be less wise, goddamn. Review to give me strength to continue this trash...

Published on July 3rd, 2016.


	12. Chapter 12: History

**History.**

 _I bled rivers of blood for you._

* * *

The King rubs his temples, and then looks at Alfred.

The imploring eyes immediately sound the warning bells. "Oh no," Alfred denies, "don't involve me in your marriage problems. _Your_ problems, not _mine_."

"You would make her happy," Francis admits. "You have not yet lost youth's touch."

"Thanks, _grandpa_ , but no thanks. I'm supposed to be 'observing'—"

"You can 'observe' as the Queen's guard."

Alfred hesitates. "My sword is meant for the battlefield, Francis. Not for entertainment."

"Pah! We have had enough battles down here for a lifetime."

"I should know, Francis," Alfred reminds gently. "I fought them for you."

* * *

 **A/N.** Tried to make Alfred as snarky as possible. It's kinda hard to not make them OOC, since they have to be kinda formal. Also, with the war just ended, everyone's a bit gloomy, especially Francis and Alfred. But on a brighter note, happy Independence Day to all you Americans!

Published on July 4th, 2016.


	13. Chapter 13: Coerce

**Coerce.**

 _the ending is never happy._

* * *

Francis's mouth snaps shut at Alfred's admonition. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Alfred waves off. "Those days are long gone, anyway."

"I still have the occasional nightmares"—Francis shivers—"of the battlefield."

Alfred snorts. "Who doesn't?"

"I know Madeleine has nightmares."

Alfred stills, gaping at his unexpected words.

"She fears me." Guilt laces Francis's voice. "Please, Alfred," he begs. And Francis _never_ begs, _ever_. "I owe it to her father. Right now, you seem the only solution."

"You really need this, huh?" Alfred furrows his brows. "I'd like to help…"

"So you will do it?"

"I guess, sure…"

Their fates seal.

* * *

 **A/N.** I hate reports, goddamnit. There's two of these due. Why I took a summer course, I have no idea...

Published on July 5th, 2016.


	14. Chapter 14: Purpose

**Purpose.**

 _lost in this darkness._

* * *

Somehow, over the course of the night (if the stories were correct), Madeleine had not gained a new brother, but rather a personal guard and servant.

Madeleine waits to meet Alfred, who—judging by the time—is very late.

Her attendants are dismissed. The hallway is empty. Etiquette dictates she must never be by herself, especially with a male, but no-one cares enough to notice the breach in protocol.

(Madeleine has an inkling of why Francis pushed Alfred upon her. The thought poisons with rage.

Francis would know her ire.)

While lost in her thought, someone violently collides into her.

* * *

 **A/N.** Might have to slow updates because of too much work. (Every two days maybe?) Doing schoolwork in the summer is such a pain, honestly. Reviews are my fuel to write.

Published on July 6th, 2016.


	15. Chapter 15: Accident

**Accident.**

 _fate makes no mistakes._

* * *

"I'm here," someone calls out. "Sorry about the wait!"

And then Alfred rushes in. He doesn't see Madeleine, and there lies his mistake. They tumble together to the ground, with silk linings and frills everywhere.

"…Good morning?" Alfred says when they've stopped, voice muffled by her dress.

Her head hurts. "Get off."

The menacing tone makes Alfred backtrack. "Oh right!" He chuckles nervously. "Of course."

The knight stands and helps the Queen up.

He grins sheepishly.

She scowls. "I was waiting, but you are late."

The accusation didn't faze him. He shrugs. "Whoops?"

Their first meeting was far from uneventful.

* * *

 **A/N.** Reviews are welcomed. Struggling to get these out. Don't have energy to write.

Published on July 8th, 2016.


	16. Chapter 16: Free

**Free.**

 _light is the shadow of the dark._

* * *

Apologies keep coming, one after another, but the damage is done. Her hair is undone and is a bird's nest. The dirt has already settled on her dress, and her crown tilts comically.

Alfred doesn't know what to do.

She stares at him, arms folded.

An anxious chuckle escapes his lips.

Madeleine scrutinizes herself, taking note of how different she appears. She smooths down her hair and looks at her sullied hands.

Her lips curve into a smile.

Then, miraculously, the ever-silent Queen laughs, the first time in a long time.

Alfred thinks her most beautiful when she is happy.

* * *

 **A/N.** Well, this is quite late, sorry. Times are hectic, and I've always had problems with motivation. (Actually, I'm thinking of starting a new story, too.) Anyway, I hope you review!

Published on July 12th, 2016.


	17. Chapter 17: Inferno

**Inferno.**

 _rage creates strength._

* * *

Feliciano gasps upon seeing the pair. Her ladies-in-waiting rush toward her.

"Vee!" His hands flit over her hair, attempting to repair the damage. "What has happened, my lady?" He fusses while Alfred watches with amusement. "Your hair! Your dress!"

"Calm down, Feli," Madeleine protests. "Where is the King? I must see him." Her jaw tightens. The euphoric feeling induced by her laughter flees in fear.

She must not forget. She cannot forget.

Feli, ever the blithe one, doesn't notice. "Yes, in the library. But at least clean up before you go."

The maids drag her away as she struggles helplessly.

* * *

 **A/N.** Hi? *hides in the blanket* It's been a long time...

Published on July 19th, 2016.


	18. Chapter 18: Whispers

**Whispers.**

 _the voices burst inside my head._

* * *

Feliciano finally notices the knight.

Alfred and Feliciano met on the battleground, with the smaller man curled up, waving a white flag crying "Surrender! I surrender!" while the fight thunders between them. Alfred helped him escape from the battle zone, and they've struck up a weird friendship ever since.

"It's nice to see you again, Sire!" Feliciano enthused. "I hear you are the Queen's new servant!"

Feli hasn't changed.

"That's right." Alfred chuckles, but shifts at the word 'servant'. "Hey, Feli, why's the Queen so…gloomy?"

Feliciano peeks around for strangers, and whispers, "Her Grace… She's not meant to be here."

* * *

 **A/N.** I honestly have no idea where this is going.

Published on July 19th, 2016.


	19. Chapter 19: Despair

**Despair.**

 _and death her mistress._

* * *

"But why?" Alfred presses.

"Northerners do not know Her Grace's story," Feliciano whispers. "But remember the Southern Civil War, when the Bonnefoys defeated the enemy and seized power?"

"Of course." Alfred fought for Francis as Arthur's reinforcement. The taste of copper is still rich on his tongue, and he shudders at the memories. "How's this important to the Queen?"

"She must tell you the story," Feliciano said, eyes solemn. "It is not my place to say."

"What's so bad that you can't tell me?"

"After winning the war—after you left for the North—the King committed a dishonourable act."

* * *

 **A/N.** _and war her son._

Published on July 20th, 2016.


	20. Chapter 20: Games

**_Games._**

 _a flitting fancy._

* * *

Madeleine pushes the library door open. Francis sits by the lights in that haughty way of his, flipping through reports.

She exhales, attempting to expel her anger; she fails.

"You knew."

He startles at seeing her walk toward him. " _Chère_! What are you doing here?"

"Francis, I will not be played a fool." Not again. Nails dig into her palms. "I am not your pawn."

The King laughs. "What _ever_ do you mean?"

"Do not feign ignorance," she states. "Alfred. Why?"

"To protect you."

"You lie." The soft voice draws blood with a whip. He flinches. "Quit your imprudent games."

* * *

 **A/N.** So I'm not dead, heh. Four chapter though, and (probably more) tomorrow. Sorry for sporadic updates (can't help it).


	21. Chapter 21: Pyrite

**Pyrite.**

 _a fool_ _'_ _s wish come true._

* * *

"My dear," he placates, "I only think of your wellbeing."

Though he looks at her, her gaze is avoided. Their eyes will never meet: not with their ghosts still alive.

"I know you are unable to look at me"—her heart struggles—"ever since that day."

The phantom pain of soot and ashes in her lung haunts her.

"Of course I can look at you," he says, but he stay fixated on the spot below her eyes.

"Do not deny it," she warns. Screams pierce her ears whenever they talk. "I will not taint the last of my ancestor's blood."

* * *

 **A/N.** On the other hand... I FINISHED MY EXAM!

Published on July 27th, 2016


	22. Chapter 22: Toll

**Toll.**

 _everything has its price._

* * *

"Am I so cruel?" The brush of his apologetic tone cools her rage. "Do you blame me for that day?"

She hesitates. "Yes." One must tread carefully here. The not-yet-past scars are so very raw. "I haven't forgiven, though the matter had to be done."

"My Queen, not to worry." Francis cracks a pained smile. "I still dream of her."

Madeleine hopes the nightmares plague him until death. "Why do you care for my happiness?"

"I am not heartless." Francis's eyes close. "I will never force myself on those who do not want me."

He looks older than he should.

* * *

 **A/N.** Published on July 27th, 2016


	23. Chapter 23: Twilight

**Twilight.**

 _it_ _'_ _s always darkest before the dawn._

* * *

Madeleine softens. "Francis, I am yours—even if you don't want me. Our vows sealed this."

"I know." Standing up, he caresses her face with calloused hands. "You are too young for this." Arms tighten around her body and their cheeks press together.

Madeleine stills, afraid to breath. Francis's stubbles tickle, and his warm breath quickens her beating heart.

"I only pray for your happiness," he whispers hoarsely into her neck. "It's the least I can do."

She stays silent.

In moments like this, when Francis is so very weak, Madeleine feels she could learn to love this broken man.

* * *

 **A/N.** Do you prefer bundled chapter updates in a while, or one chapter (kinda) daily?

Published on July 27th, 2016


	24. Chapter 24: Assumption

**Assumption.**

 _who are you to judge the wind?_

* * *

The library proved too much for Alfred.

"Is this all you do?" he whines, "just stay in some dusty room and read?"

Madeleine frowns at his impertinence. "Knowledge is power." Her mother's favourite advice nags at her mind, in familiar and comforting way.

He groans. "Don't you do anything _fun_?!"

The blood in her veins freezes. "Do you think," she says quietly, though deadly all the same, "that I wish to be here?"

What seemed like pity on his face only served to inflame her words.

"You have never known pain," she scoffs.

But his pained smile twists her heart.

* * *

 **A/N.** I'm back! Writer's block really doesn't help...

Published on August 1st, 2016.


	25. Chapter 25: Risk

**Risk.**

 _a deal with the devil._

* * *

She puts down the book. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"You're right," he interrupts, the hard look melting away. "I _have_ been too lucky."

"How so?" Her curiosity sharpens its claws. _Knowledge is power,_ whispers her mind.

"Ah!"Alfred wags his finger with a Cheshire's grin. "To gain information, you must first exchange it," he says. "I propose a trade."

"Of what?"

"Time."

Alfred is more manipulative that she thought. Her mind whirls with possibilities.

"I'll tell you my story, but…"—his eyes _shine_ with excitement—"you have to do something in return."

She arches an eyebrow.

"Horseback riding," he allows.

* * *

 **A/N.** Backstory time coming...

Published on August 1st, 2016.


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